thisfishflies: (head-scratch)
[personal profile] thisfishflies
Title: Ancestry, or How Colonel Sheppard's Hair Defied Genetics, Too
Fandom: SGA/Surprise crossover
Pairing: John/Rodney-ish
Rating: G
Spoilers: Small ones for the whole series
Word count: ~1000
Note: This started out as a short, funny drabble. Now it somehow has angst peppered in. I don't know how it happened. This whole story was just supposed to be dialogue, but I sorta fail at that. But I had to get this out anyway, or else the idea would bounce around my head forever. And this crossover makes me happy.
Summary: Rodney learns that some of his jokes about Sheppard's hair have been right.

Ancestry
Or How Colonel Sheppard's Hair Defied Genetics, Too


Rodney usually found a way to make fun of Sheppard's hair at least once a week. It was not something that was planed, Rodney just discovered that the hair was something that could get some reaction. There were three typical reactions: Sheppard making some witty and cutting remark back at Rodney, many times something about envy and the effect stress had on hair-loss; Sheppard glaring at Rodney while lightly brushing his hand over his left temple; and the least common reaction (but also Rodney's favorite), pouting while patting his left temple.

Rodney had categorized this in the first few months in Pegasus. He was not sure if he had done it consciously a first, but by the time he wondered that he was too ingrained in his habits to change.

So, the first time Sheppard reacted outside or Rodney's expectations Rodney was reasonably surprised.

-------------


It happened after what was supposed to be a routine “make nice with the locals” mission. There was mud, rain, arrows, hours spent in a ditch, and a humiliating rescue involved. One of the Marines on the rescue team had broken a leg and had a lung punctured. Like everything else, Sheppard though it was his fault.

Rodney was not good at comforting, but he was still naive enough to try, back then. Why he thought that the Colonel- Major, then- would agree with logical reasoning he had no clue. He would never blame himself for things he couldn't control, he had been sure. (Now the litany of 'Gaul, Weir, Carson, Grodin, Abrams, Ford' repeats in his head. The only reason it is not longer is that he cannot remember all the names. He does remember faces and screams, though.)

Still. Rodney tried reasoning back then, thinking it would work, sometime.“You don't control the rain, you know. Or the hostile natives for that matter. He still has a whole other leg! And lung! I'm sure you would know this if your hair did not sap all the nutrients from your brain.”

Sheppard does nothing, hardly glancing at Rodney. His hair seems to match his mood, droopy and hanging in a way that shows it does follow the laws of physics. Sometimes. He looks so much like a wet cat that Rodney wants to scritch him under the chin or behind an ear. Sheppard would probably act exactly like a startled cat, too. It's what stops Rodney from try. Well, that and he likes his life.

“Where does hair like that even come from,” Rodney wonders to himself. He is tired and cold enough that he wonders out loud.

Sheppard lips move in a way that suggest 'smile' without really being one. It's a strange sort of expression. “It runs in the family,” he replies.

Then there are Wraith darts and Jumper maneuvers that would make Rodney sick without the dampeners. He still feels a bit sick, anyway. He never had time to think of Sheppard's comment and it was pushed to the place where he kept all the personal information others thrust upon him in the back of his mind.

Rodney does not remember that until years later.

-------------


“Ronon showed me pictures of your brother and father. Neither of them have your hair,” Rodney blurts out when they are both sitting the the lab, late one night. Rodney had wondered how Ronon got those pictures, and why, but he was not one to question Ronon. The look Sheppard gave him showed that he, too, wondered where the pictures came from.

“It's from mom's side of the family. She had curly hair, though, because she had the brain,”Sheppard might have said this while nodding a bit too much, but neither of them had gotten much sleep in a while. For a moment Rodney thought that was why he did not understand Sheppard, but then he realized that that last sentence was impossible.

“What- brain?” Rodney asked inanely.

Sheppard has the look on his face he gets whenever he wants to back out of something, or change the subject. By now Rodney can recognize that look and his own expression changes. He hopes it conveys that he will not back down and will pry the words out of Sheppard any way possible, not stopping at coercion and mental torture. Sheppard knows enough about Rodney's unfortunate past that Rodney will not let go of the chance to grab some small bit of this.

Whatever look Rodney has showed, Sheppard seemed to recognize it. He deflated a bit, sighed, and licked his lips.

“Well, in my mother's family, there were two traits passed down- the hair and the brains. You got one or the other. I was actually the first to get both in over five generations,” Sheppard's voice fades quietly. His eyes look through the walls and into the past. The quick moment of introspection softens his face. He jerks pack to the present suddenly. “Actually, I have cousins that each have the hair or the brain. One's like you- a super genius. The one with the hair, Don, doesn't have it any more. He cut it too short, the last time I saw him. He got made fun of in school or something. Haven't thought of them in a long time.”

“You have a genius cousin, that is like me? And, wait, that hair is duplicated somewhere?” Rodney is not sure which shocks him more.

Sheppard is already distracted by some shiny Ancient device left on the table. It glows colors that he can't really name and something in the middle is twirling. “Yeah. Hmm. Next time we're on Earth I'll introduce you.

-------------


“Your cousin is Charles Eppes?” Rodney demands, turning on Sheppard when he sees the name on the office door. “Why did you not tell me this? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

Rodney continues to rant at John until he is halfway into the office. He then notices that there are several people in there, all staring at him. He ignores them. “You!” He shouts at Charles Eppes, recognizable from the photos on book jackets, “You should work with your cousin- Col-Sheppard, let us take him with us!”

Sheppard just laughs.

------------







Don Eppes. Totes related to John Sheppard. It's my canon.


I want to write a sequel or something. Really, really badly. I mean, Atlantis practically ends up on the Numb3rs doorstep. And John's mother could be related to the Eppes brothers' mom. They could all fight crime and Wraith with math, physics, & hair. With slouching appearing once or twice. It would have double!Team. Colby and Ronon bond over weapons. Megan and Teyla would totally hit it off. Charlie and Rodney would be having geek!gasms in the garage ("Chalkboards? Real live chalkboards? Get your minions to get us some coffee, we have chalk to destroy!" "They are not minions, they are FBI agents. We have to solve the case, not make them our gofers." "FBI, Marines, whatever. They have small brains and hands. Let them do something useful.") John and Don are totally related. I know this in my bones.

So, I might do this.

Date: 2009-02-18 05:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kathgrr.livejournal.com
I totally second that!!

Date: 2009-02-18 05:57 am (UTC)
keiramarcos: (Default)
From: [personal profile] keiramarcos
I'm in total agreement that Sheppard and Don should be related. LOL.

Date: 2009-02-18 06:01 am (UTC)

Date: 2009-02-18 06:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] azmari.livejournal.com
OMG!!! Love this. Pls write more. Huh, I never thought about it but I can see how Eppes boys are related to John.

Date: 2009-02-18 02:31 pm (UTC)
ext_95695: Picture of a fish, "teh fish!!1" (fish thanks)
From: [identity profile] thisfishflies.livejournal.com
I try to connect every fandom with every other. Family trees in my head are pretty awesome.

Crossover are too much fun.

Date: 2009-02-18 07:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] becs8.livejournal.com
OMG You HAVE TO write a sequal. That was just way to perfect. I can totally see them as cousins. :O)

Date: 2009-02-18 09:22 am (UTC)
tarlanx: Spiced latte style drink in a glass (Sheppard - profile)
From: [personal profile] tarlanx
I've only seen a couple of Numb3rs episodes and wish I had time to go watch them all... I loved the idea of this crossover!

Date: 2009-02-18 09:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cleito.livejournal.com
And don't forget Alan's reaction to the giant government conspiracy that covers up the existence of aliens and the wars in space!

Date: 2009-02-18 09:39 am (UTC)
ext_95695: Picture of a fish, "teh fish!!1" (Default)
From: [identity profile] thisfishflies.livejournal.com
Or the fact that his wife hid the 'brains/hair' thing from him. Don and Charlie don't even know.

(Their mom had the brains, too. Her hair was incredibly frizzy in humid weather.)

Date: 2009-02-18 11:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lyonza.livejournal.com
OMG!! If you write that sequel with the dialogue given I will worship at your feet forever.

"Chalkboards? Real live chalkboards? Get your minions to get us some coffee, we have chalk to destroy!"

"They are not minions, they are FBI agents. We have to solve the case, not make them our gofers."

"FBI, Marines, whatever. They have small brains and hands. Let them do something useful."


I am having geek!gasms over that

And John and Don are SO related.

Date: 2009-02-18 02:37 pm (UTC)
ext_95695: Picture of a fish, "teh fish!!1" (fish thanks)
From: [identity profile] thisfishflies.livejournal.com
I love writing snippy dialogue Rodney would have with other people. Mostly it stays in my head. I have now written 3 different versons of a SGA/Eureka fic. The only thing that stays the same is that Nathan Stark and Rodney fight, always. I have one drabble that is just them arguing. It is fun. But, Rodney and Charlie are not fighting much, in my head. Mostly because they started to work a few hours ago and have not stopped. Rodney made fun of Charlie's music, though.

But, I'm not sure if Rodney would love the chalkboards, or hate them. I mean- chalk dust. He could get white lung or something! He has allergies. He complain, but I'm sure they remind him of his childhood. And of getting his first doctorate. White erase boards kill him with fumes, that I am sure of.

Date: 2009-02-18 02:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lyonza.livejournal.com
Its totally brilliant all of it.

My stupid muse went off on extended holiday (its been almost three months) and I can't seem to lure him back with promises of chocolate and/or pretty and nubile young men in skintight leather outfits.

I'm officially a fan of your story though. And your way of thinking. **keeps eyes peeled for more**

Date: 2009-02-19 07:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] outsideth3box.livejournal.com
Yes! Sequel! Pleeeeeeeease!?

Also, SGA/Eureka? Is that posted anyplace? Because much love!

Date: 2009-02-18 02:00 pm (UTC)

It must be!

Date: 2009-02-18 04:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lerah99.livejournal.com
OMG! This is an awesome idea! I think it just became my own personal cannon.

Please, please, please write SGA/Numbers stories.

I'll send chocolate!

Re: It must be!

Date: 2009-02-18 04:31 pm (UTC)
ext_95695: Picture of a fish, "teh fish!!1" (Default)
From: [identity profile] thisfishflies.livejournal.com
XD

I've already started. Couldn't help myself. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

I'm even thinking about writing wee!Eppes and wee!Sheppard.

I think I just accidentally created a 'verse. Huh.

Re: It must be!

Date: 2009-02-19 04:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tiamet.livejournal.com
oh dear god I hope you just created a verse.... I NEED more of this to live!

I love the crossovers with someone in one fandom being from the same family as someone in another fandom. Mostly that happens to Rodney (which I love). So few good John family ones.

Re: It must be!

Date: 2009-02-19 05:22 am (UTC)
ext_95695: Picture of a fish, "teh fish!!1" (Nakkid angel thing)
From: [identity profile] thisfishflies.livejournal.com
I love relative crossovers. Mostly the 'extened family' kind. I don't like the "hey, this is the sister I never talked about- let's watch her win the hearts of everyone and then kill the Wraith" ones.

But, everyone has cousins and such. Richard Woolsey? He's related to the Weasleys. When his grandfather came over, they changed the name. Lorne is not related to the Winchesters, but his father was friends with their father. Lorne spent some time with them growing up. They told the best ghost stories. Chuck has a crazy Uncle Frobisher. They don't talk about him much, nor is he invited to the chili cook off.

And these are the stories I'll never write. But it is fun to think about.

Date: 2009-02-18 08:11 pm (UTC)
ext_18137: photo of moki, nibbling his claws (peekaboo)
From: [identity profile] captain-tibbs.livejournal.com
I never noticed the hair connection before, but it is obviously sooo true!
I'd love to read that sequal too, mostly for the Rodney and Charlie back -n-forth :-)

Date: 2009-02-18 09:31 pm (UTC)
romyra: Icon by <lj user="moshesque"> (Default)
From: [personal profile] romyra
This made me laugh so hard. Rodney is so typical in this. You should definitely write that sequel(s) *hint hint*
From: [identity profile] sgafan33.livejournal.com
I know of an SGA/Numb3rs fic. Do you want to read it or avoid it?
ext_95695: Picture of a fish, "teh fish!!1" (Default)
From: [identity profile] thisfishflies.livejournal.com
Oh, I want to read it. I am a crossover whore, and I've got this one pretty well planned out. 'd be awesome to see the others.
From: [identity profile] sgafan33.livejournal.com
It's The Lost Colony by Joolz. (http://www.geocities.com/joolz4me/TheLostColony.htm)
ext_95695: Picture of a fish, "teh fish!!1" (Default)
From: [identity profile] thisfishflies.livejournal.com
Ah, thank you. I don't usually read much gen, so I probably would have missed this.

Date: 2009-02-19 03:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chelletoo.livejournal.com
Please write more. Would love to see Don & charlie in Atlantis.

Date: 2009-02-19 10:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] binel63.livejournal.com
:-D Brilliant idea!
It was great and I really hope you write more. :-)

Date: 2009-03-12 10:50 pm (UTC)
ext_72718: (Default)
From: [identity profile] scherryzade.livejournal.com
Why is it every time I get close to writing something, I find someone else has just done the same thing? Because yes, the hair & the math* - it's so obvious.

Sigh.

(I love the interaction between John and Rodney you have here, too :)

*And the way John and Don say 'Buddy'...

Date: 2009-03-12 10:56 pm (UTC)
ext_95695: Picture of a fish, "teh fish!!1" (Default)
From: [identity profile] thisfishflies.livejournal.com
YES! The "buddy"! I have plans for that. :cackles:

And, it is because of the fandom hivemind. It causes everyone to have the same awesome idea at the same time. Which is great for a fic reader, but sometimes crap for a writer.

Though, the hivemind has failed to produce the Michael fanvid to the song "Michael". I am very disappointed in that.

Date: 2009-03-13 06:42 pm (UTC)
ext_72718: (Default)
From: [identity profile] scherryzade.livejournal.com
Oh, like I'm going to be able to shake that image now. (leather hips...)

Date: 2009-03-13 06:46 pm (UTC)
ext_95695: Picture of a fish, "teh fish!!1" (Default)
From: [identity profile] thisfishflies.livejournal.com
Hey, it has been in my head for weeks. Others should be tortured as well.

I mean, what bugs me most would be who Michael would be with in the video. Sheppard would be the best, but also Carson. OR, you know, a total slut.

This is what I think of at work. When not contemplating David Hewlett's ass. I sometimes don't get much work done.
From: [identity profile] sgafan33.livejournal.com
I was just rereading this fun fic (it was on sgastoryfinders) and noticed a typo "It was not something that was planed...", that should be "planned".

Date: 2010-01-29 02:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snowrose.livejournal.com
Yeah--this is Awesome!

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